


Pray For The Rain

by quingigillion (cartouche)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending, Grevious Bodily Harm, I'm sorry if this hurts it hurts me too, M/M, Non graphic violence, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 09:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10274102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cartouche/pseuds/quingigillion
Summary: Todd's parents see in colour. They do their feeble best to explain to Todd the unknown concepts ofredandpurpleandgreen. Todd can recite off by heart which colours match where, that bananas and lemons and daffodils areyellowwhile the sky and the sea and the scuffed shoes that he slips on to his feet areblue. Despite this they all remain in the same stubborn range of washed out greys, dull and boring and empty.





	

**Author's Note:**

> im really sad today, sorry  
> based on [this au](http://testtubestories.tumblr.com/post/101076260784/an-eye-for-an-eye)

Todd’s world is grey, monotone like an old film. It’s not unusual, his parents tell him, even as Flora and Tim gasp at each other and hug on the first day of kindergarten. They’ll get married and be happy someday, and jealousy coils into a tight ball in Todd’s chest. 

His parents see in colour, he knows this. They stare lovingly into each other's eyes and do their feeble best to explain to Todd the unknown concepts of  _ red  _ and  _ purple _ and  _ green _ . Todd can recite off by heart which colours match where, that bananas and lemons and daffodils are  _ yellow _ while the sky and the sea and the scuffed shoes that he slips on to his feet are  _ blue _ . Despite this they all remain in the same stubborn range of washed out greys, dull and boring and empty. 

He graduates high school as one of only a handful of  _ blindies _ as they’re mockingly referred to in his small backwater town out in the middle of nowhere. His parents smiles are grey and they blend into a sea of grey faces inside the grey building. Todd shakes a grey hand and shuffles off the stage. He pushes through the gooey eyed couples and doesn’t bother to go to any of the parties thrown. Todd knows the plastic cups of alcohol will be  _ red _ and the patio will be  _ brown _ and Flora’s thighs will be  _ ebony _ as Tim undresses her, giggling, and they cement their bond. Todd leaves for college a week later and doesn’t ever come back. 

It’s different in Seattle. 

Vast numbers of people hurry through Seattle as  _ blindies _ . The city’s mostly grey anyway, or so he’s told. It rains a lot, and Todd takes comfort knowing that the grey clouds above him are  _ just _ the right colour. Nobody asks him anymore, except a few hesitant dates he entertains through college. He fucks most of them and doesn’t ever text them the next day.  _ Black _ becomes Todd’s favourite colour.  _ Black _ is easy, and all his clothes match so he doesn’t stand out. He buys  _ black _ band shirts, and wears  _ black _ nail polish and drinks  _ black _ coffee and doesn’t stare into people’s eyes for too long. 

(His parents told him his eyes were  _ blue _ when he was younger. Todd stands in front of the mirror for hours and tries to imagine what that looks like, tries to imagine any spark of colour in them, rimming the pupils tightly. Everything is still grey when he steps back, and he tries, very hard, not to be disappointed.)

Todd takes a job at the Perriman. It’s shit money, but it’s all he’ll get for a college dropout with a few police files to his name. Amanda needs the money. She needs the money for when her blood leaks  _ scarlet _ or her hands turn  _ blue _ with frostbite. Todd is bitter but he still gives her every $100 he can spare. He deserves this, probably.

He's 28 and alone. He's 29 and alone. He's 30 and  _alone_.

The Perriman uniform is  _ purple _ and  _ red _ . Todd’s been told by his manager, a man well accustomed to the broad range of colours he sees everyday. A grey corgi runs by the bus and doesn’t catch his attention. The engine rumbles and grinds and judders and the world that slips past outside the grimy window is pallid and colourless.

A man falls through his window when he gets home. There’s nothing exciting about this, except there’s a man climbing into his apartment, presumably the world’s worst burglar. He throws a shoe at him and the man yelps. Todd rushes forward, not thinking, trying to force him back out of the window, and his heart stops. 

The man’s eyes are  _ blue _ . He knows it, instinctively, in the same way he knows that bananas are  _ yellow _ and grass is  _ green _ . Except he can see it. Colour. A bright, clear piercing  _ blue _ that Todd knows looks like a clear sky on a bitter winter day. He stumbles back, and yells, pointing. The man blinks.

It happens slowly, and then all at once, the world bleeding into colour, and Todd can only stand there, stunned as the couch and the walls and his shoe by the door are painted in rich vibrant tones of brick, and taupe and grimy white. The man’s jacket is a hideous shade of yellow and his smile knocks the breath out of Todd's lungs. This is it, his moment, he knows it.

_ Dirk Gently,  _ the man says,  _ I’m a detective and I live here now _ . There is no fanfare or fireworks. He doesn’t gasp in shock and awe and look around him wonderously and rush towards Todd as though he were his soulmate, like Todd had seen so many others do. 

(Todd asks him one day and Dirk shrugs and there’s somewhere very empty and far away in his eyes.  _ I don’t know, I’ve always just seen the world in colour. Maybe I don’t have a soulmate _ . And if Todd’s heart were a colour it would be an ashy, ashy grey.) 

He hides it fairly well he thinks. Amanda peers at him curiously but doesn’t say anything. His Mom doesn’t notice anything when she calls. Todd lives life in vivid technicolour and not a single soul knows. He buys bananas and can see they’re not just  _ yellow _ , they’re bright and vibrant and tinged green and not at all like the yellow of freshly made waffles, golden and brown and drizzled in syrup. He walks by a florist and watches the ladies behind the window laugh politely as he ogles at the sprays of intense purples and reds and crisp whites and striking pinks. 

Dirk doesn’t know. And Todd makes sure he doesn’t. Dirk rushes through Todd’s life with a series of alarming jackets in every shade of the rainbow and orders sprinkles on everything just so he can see the colours swirl together as they melt. Dirk’s never seen a grey world, never felt the rejection, the loneliness, the dim, aching acceptance. Dirk gets pulled along like a leaf in the stream of creation, but he’s always known the water is  _ blue _ . 

It’s funny how a world of colour can be so dull. 

Dirk’s blood isn’t dull. It’s  _ red _ and Todd knows now that it’s the same red as rubies, as pomegranates, as rose petals, and a completely different red to fire engines and cherry flavoured chapstick. It glitters against the lights of the alleyway, stark neon _pinks_ and _blues_ that reflect off the wet pavenent. Dirk makes panicked little gasps and his eyes are wide and he clutches at Todd with bloody hands. The bullets glint  _ silver _ . Hot tears slide over Todd’s cheeks and he’s fumbling frantically for his phone and the womans voice is calm as she asks,  _ sir, what is your emergency?  _

The colour retreats, and Todd scrabbles desperately to keep it, pressing tightly down on Dirk's chest as his face pales and his eyes dim. Blood pools around Dirk and it stains his jacket and Todd watches with blurry eyes as the last of the yellow seeps away, draining down into the grey gutter. Todd’s screaming, he knows he is, his throat is raw and hoarse and burning, and there are grey flashing lights by him and grey paramedics taking him away and a grey blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

_ Oh _ , says Dirk, almost apologetic,  _ oh. I didn’t think it was going to be like this _ . 

His eyes are very blue as they slide shut. 

Todd visits him in the hospital. The life support machine blips slowly, too slowly, and those graceful hands are grey as Todd grips them and pretends he isn’t begging Dirk to come back, to do the impossible once more. 

The universe is icy cold without him. 

Farah does her best and Amanda does her best and even the Rowdies do what they can (which isn’t much) and Todd trudges through a grey life, day in, day out, grey, grey, grey. He clings to the particular shade of  _ azure _ the sky goes, and the fresh  _ green _ of spring leaves, and if he squeezes his eyes shut tight enough, he can almost see it. 

The phone call is grey. The car is grey and the road is grey and the hoodie Dirk is wearing as he props himself up in the bed with a sharp wince is grey. Dirk’s eyes are  _ blue _ as he smiles shakily at Todd, and he’s not one for praying but he’s shouting a great big thank you to the universe. Dirk laughs which turns into a cough and wheezily tells Todd he’s already solved a case. He doesn’t think when he lurches forward and kisses him, he just does it. Dirk looks shocked and he’s stiff against Todd, stiff and still. Todd wants to plunge into his eyes, that warm, kind blue, and never leave. He steps back hastily, apology already falling from his lips and the blush that graces the top of Dirk’s ears is a soft _pink_. 

_ Well _ , says Dirk, and Todd waits for it, the crushing words, dismal and bleak and grey, and resigns himself to a world devoid of colour.  _ That took you much longer than I thought it would _ . 

Relief is a shade of  _ orange _ that fizzes and sparks in Todd’s chest. Dirk’s smile is broad and his eyes crinkle at the corners and the nurse’s clipboard is  _ violet _ . 

Dirk kisses him softly and Todd knows that when he opens his eyes, the sky will still be blue.


End file.
